Iniquitous Affairs
by Paper Bullet
Summary: Coming across the Tercera Espada after Aizen's sudden disappearance from LN raises even more questions for Soifon and the Gotei 13. However, the Nibantai Captain will find out more things than she would like—both internally and externally. Halibel/Soifon
1. A Prologue of Renditions

**INIQUITOUS AFFAIRS**

_Chapter I: A Prologue of Renditions_

It was an inevitability that after a recreational wave of relief washed over Soul Society, the slump of tension at a pause with a seemingly non-detrimental disappearance of Aizen and his army, that Soifon would be working more meticulously than ever before. The dumber side of the population was in celebration of the Aizen-must-have-been-killed-by-someone-else theory. All of the Captains─more or less─knew that this was just an exploit building up, gathering energy and atmosphere. And this exploit, this pseudo-Aizen defeat, would explode in a callosity. Aizen was there. His army was there. But Soul Society would like to force themselves to be ignorant to something they knew was happening. Perhaps it was a mental mechanism, a defense of some sorts. The collected stress on Shinigami could be dissipated with the belief of Aizen's defeat, when in reality it was only being pushed beneath the exterior, beneath the unconscious. Instead of putting─no, keeping─everyone on high alert, the leaders of Soul Society would be instituting subliminal preparations within their squads. Soul Society would be preparing for the end of a war they didn't even know was still going on.

The Onmitsukidō Commander-in-Chief sat in one of the small computer rooms of the Department of Development and Research. It was the only way she could acquire access to a computer. This also meant that she had had to give Mayuri Kurotsuchi something in return for use of one of his computers... An 'observational session' of her demonstrating her bankai deep in the wastelands of Rukongai was what he requested. Through much, much reluctance, she obliged and sometime within the next month would give him her end of the deal. She didn't quite like the fact that he wanted to gather information on her, and even more specifically her bankai─something in its entirety, she abhorred. However, she was somewhat in desperation for access to the virtual files. Since everyone except the Captains (most of them, anyway) were playing dumb in the whole Winter War ordeal, she was taking matters into her own hands to go the extra length. Her goal was always to find out information about criminals of Soul Society, but she was doing much more than that this time around. She was going to try and piece things together and find out where Aizen and his crew suddenly disappeared to. Las Noches? Gone. Espada? Gone. Numeros? Gone. There were seemingly no traces. After Ichigo had defeated the Sexta Espada known as Grimmjow Jeagerjaqcues (or so it seemed to fall in that time frame), all associated with Aizen were wisped away seemingly by the wind itself, fading.

What was the most puzzling of things was the case of Orihime Inoue, the human girl. Aizen had seemed so desperate above all else to have her. He went through the trouble of kidnapping her and keeping her in Las Noches, only to allow her to be rescued. This was a major reason why Aizen's 'disappearance' was a little believable. No one ever thought he would simply _let_ her be handed over to the 'good side' again. Soifon was unconcerned with the girl herself, however she was still perplexed by Aizen's actions. None of it made sense. As she saw in the small office, she stared at the computer screen. The continued beeping as she scrolled down through files rang in her ears. She finally landed on the Espada files. The only Espada the Gotei 13 knew the numbers of were Aaorionero, Szayel, Zommari, and Grimmjow. The remaining Espada on file were Ulquiorra and Yammy, however their positions were unknown. This meant there were four other Espada Soul Society had absolutely no information on. Soifon stared at the cascaded files of Espada, six having pictures and minimal information while four others had question marks for an appearance and 'unknown' marked down for all of the fields.

After a bit more browsing, Soifon exited the files and left the room. She made her way down the streets of Seireitei, her next destination being the First Division. Her Captain's haori billowed slightly behind her as she walked, and people stared as she passed by, some bowing and offering polite and restricted greetings. She paid no mind, her countenance void of any expression. Dull eyes switched over to a group of Shinigami horse playing with a broom stick, their speech slurred by a little too much sake. She averted her eyes back to in front of her, finally reaching the tall gates. They were opened for her by the two stationed guards, each greeting her with a 'Good morning, Soifon-taichou.' She walked swiftly through the gates and then entered the main meeting room. She knew the Head Captain had previous engagements with one of the other Captains (Shunsui if her memory served her right, which it always did). Therefore, Yamamoto was still located in the same spot, sitting on the large chair with his hands folded over the top of his staff.

"Excuse me for coming unannounced, Yamamoto-soutaichou." She bowed in respected before standing up straight with her hands at her sides.

"Good morning Soifon-taichou. What brings you here so unexpectedly?" Yamamoto's eyes were surrounded by crinkles and wrinkles, but they were steady and black, harboring thousands of years of wisdom and knowledge.

"I'm requesting permission to enter Hueco Mundo with a group of elite Onmitsukidō members to gather information on Aizen's disappearance." Her voice was unwavering, stern even.

"And how much time are you planning on spending in Hueco Mundo?" His voice shook with age, but it was harsh and powerful.

"Just a few days, if even that. I shall send in periodical reports on our status, and alert you when we are ready to return."

"So be it. I will have the gates for the Human World opened for you in a few hours." At this point, Soifon remembered a very important little detail. "Seeing as Urahara Kisuke is the only one able to open a portal to Hueco Mundo."

Soifon's entire body tensed up, her frame rigid. Her eyes were wide and unaccepting of this fact. Kisuke...Urahara. That man... She didn't like asking him for a favor, even if Yamamoto would be the one to contact him and ask him for it. She was still using _his _help to do this, and she hated that fact. Her nails dug into the meat of her palms, crescent shapes formed on her skin. Her jaw was clenched shut, and it took her a moment to swallow her pride─her hatred. She only had to see him for a short while, but still...it was him.

"Thank you, Head Captain." With that, she left to prepare her and her selected team for departure.

* * *

"Ah, Captain Soifon, I'm glad you could make it. I assume your team knows how everything works?" Urahara Kisuke, the thorn in Soifon's side.

Soifon nodded. She couldn't act differently or show that Urahara was a personal weakness for her, a person who made her lose her demeanor. And if she spoke, she felt that her subordinates would hear the obvious traces of malice in her tone. When Urahara told them that it was ready, Soifon said nothing else. The Shinigami dressed in all black attire followed behind her as she led them into the portal. Soifon's Captain uniform was gone, and she was only garbed in her Special Forces uniform.

As soon as she was inside the other dimension, her eyes scanned the fake eternal night sky once before glancing around the sands. There were sparse quartz trees and rocks in some places, but for the most part...nothing. It looked like an endless horizon in the distance, and an aura of defeat already surrounded them. What could they possibly find in this empty, endless desert? A few insignificant hollows? They needed a trace, a piece of evidence, _something_. The elite Special Forces members stood at attention behind her. Not including herself, there were four Shinigami─one female and three males. Taking a larger team just for a search-and-find mission would be difficult. A horde of Shinigami following her step by step (because splitting up at this point was out of the question) was not something she was inclined to have. However, she picked her top four (she had decisively left Ōmaeda behind, as there were certain tasks needing to be taken care of) Executive Militia personnel for the job. If they encountered a strong being, they needed to be able to withstand at least the spiritual pressure exhibited. They didn't necessarily need to be able to fend off an Espada, but only to live while Soifon 'handled' it.

"Let's move. We'll survey in the direction Las Noches was once located first."

"Yes, Captain," the crew replied in unison.

With that, Soifon was off, using a slowed Shunpo to allow those behind her to be able to keep up. No one would be able to see through her stern expression that inside her head, thoughts ran wild. She had the tugging feeling that something was out there, waiting to be found. She almost _knew _they would find something.

After about an hour of travel, Soifon could feel a very small ebbing of spiritual power in the distance. Her eyes focused, head clearing of irrelevant thoughts, as she centralized her senses on that small pulsation. She knew something was out there, but it was very weak... If felt different somehow. As if it were once a great, powerful reiatsu, now dimmed with the life of its possessor fading.

Soifon stopped abruptly upon reaching the energy source. Her eyes stared down at the ground, taking in the sight before her. A mangled body, bloodied and broken, a mess of blond hair, dark skin colored red, but most importantly─a white uniform.

* * *

**Author's Note: **No, I'm not on drugs. Nor am I missing my straight jacket (thatthingistootight). Perhaps one of the most crack pairings you can find, I agree. It was a challenge I was given, and I love a challenge ;D So! I will be attempting to bring you a believable Halibel x Soifon without getting them out of character...or at least, that's what my ego would like to believe. I'll probably fail miserably.

First chapter is boring, I know. But the next chapter will have interaction between the two.

Also, for anyone waiting on updates for my other stories...I'm so sorry. I've been terribly busy lately X_X

Much love! ─PB


	2. Shark Awakenings

**INIQUITOUS AFFAIRS**

_Chapter II: Shark Awakenings_

It was dark. Cold and so very, very dark. The atmosphere was different and something she had never quite experienced before. Her senses were only somewhat present. She could feel the cold, murky air around her, making the hair on her arms and neck stand on end. She could taste the bitter and stale saliva on her tongue, could smell the scent of a castle's dungeon air. She couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't think.

After what seemed like an eternity, a better sense of consciousness started drifting back into her. Suddenly, sound filled her ears and she could somewhat register her surroundings and her situation. The quieted shuffling in the distance could be heard, muffled voices that spoke incoherently as if drowned under water. A nauseating wave rushed over her body, sickening and constricting. Her stomach recoiled and her throat became dry, like a fish out of water. Sea-green eyes peeled open finally, a somewhat dull and loathsome natural stare instantaneously present on her dark face.

Tia Halibel lifted her head, her back now erect as she further took in her environment. There was nothing but reiatsu-enchanted stone walls surrounding her. The floor was equally cold, dusty, and the room was humid. She could feel a steel chair under her, hair hands cuffed behind the back of said chair. Halibel felt the cold metal clamped around her wrists, and she felt utterly powerless. Deducing that the handcuffs were the cause, on top of her extreme exhaustion and injuries, of her lack of energy and strength. She glanced down and found that she was still in her Arrancar uniform pants, the blood stains faded and the rips sewn back together. She was without a top however, and several gauge bandages were wrapped completely all around her back and busty chest. The once pure white bandages had small spots where her wounds' blood leaked through, seeping to the outermost layer. The Espada's hollow mask remnants were mostly hidden under wrappings, but they showed the boned jaws and teeth. Her stomach was uncovered, and she was covered the same amount as she was with her entire uniform adorned. Her breasts, much to many-a-disappoint, were fully covered, even on the bottom.

She sat there for long minutes on end, staring at the blank stone wall in front of her. She was quiet and motionless, a beautiful, badgered zombie stuck in a cell. She was in Soul Society; she knew that much. Perhaps she had figured it out the moment she awoke from her anesthetic-induced continuous sleep, or maybe when she finally could zero in on the sounds of Shinigami yells in the distance. Wherever she was, in this cell, it was quite away from any Shinigami activity. Of course they would have taken extra precautions with one of Aizen's former Espada, but it only rose the lingering question in Halibel's mind: why wasn't she killed or left for dead? Bringing an Espada into the Seireitei was a risky and dangerous maneuver, even with these constraints she was under. And there was no guard in her cell?

As if on that select note, she heard a rustling of locks and metal outside her door. The sound of two male voices complying to a superior's command could be heard. Within one split moment, the door opened, light from the connecting hall rushing into the dark room and attacking Halibel's eyes. Though, she did not squint or wince from its sting. Her dull gaze remained, her expression both hidden by her hollow mask and her simple lack of emotional display. When her eyes could focus, a small figure was made out. The figure was petite, cloaked in a Captain's haori with long twin braids extending all the way to her waist. The small silhouette shut the door, and Halibel made out her entire appearance. She was small but far from frail, her face radiating and aura of stern and disciplined natures. A permanent scowl rested on her face, and the woman stepped forward.

"What is your name, Espada."

Halibel stared forward, a steady glare going both ways between the women. Halibel said nothing, making Soifon take another step forward. Her hands hung limply by her sides, and she gave off a sense of intimidation that failed to work on Halibel. Even though Soifon was standing, she only slightly towered over Halibel. A meager three feet remained between them.

"If you fail to cooperate with our questions, you'll be executed without trial." Soifon wasn't planning on playing any games with this beast.

"You speak as if execution is a fear I possess."

Soifon's gaze turned from a stern anger to a mixture of apathy and skepticism. Her eyebrows raised ever-so-slightly as she stared down at the blonde, dark-skinned Arrancar. "The only reason you wouldn't want to speak is if you were still under Aizen's command." The question hidden beneath the statement was fairly evident.

"Do not speak his name."

"Then tell me yours."

Halibel's eyes blinked slowly once, still fixed on Soifon's dark ones. "Tia Halibel."

"And that three on your chest our medical team reported to us, that makes you the Tercera Espada." Halibel's silence was enough of an affirmative answer for Soifon. "Who was the individual that issued you such injuries."

Halibel's eyes averted to the side, but not out of shyness or vacillation. It was more of a disinclination to think of the subject willingly.

"I see." Soifon supposed she would need to attempt a different approach at extracting information from the Arrancar. "Those cuffs around your wrist are specially designed by our Department of Research and Development. You have the stamina of a mere human right now. You're stuck here either until you give us information or we decide to kill you."

Halibel's eyes turned back to Soifon steadily. "Are you calling me incompetent."

"What was that?" Soifon's eyes narrowed bitterly and curiously.

"The fact you seem to think I believe telling you anything will prevent my inevitable death. You must think my intelligence to be low."

"..." Soifon wasn't sure how to respond, which was a first for her. This was no ordinary Arrancar she was dealing with. She wasn't angry or rebellious, and above all else...she seemed as if this was no big deal. The dark-toned Espada was calm and collected, an ideal replica of the ideal Shinigami. It was a shame she was a lowly Arrancar. Soifon shook the thought from her head, almost in disgust. She would need to formulate a better tactic at getting this Arrancar to tell her things. She had to build up to the happenings of Aizen's disappearance. It was obvious she wouldn't be able to force information out of the woman. Soifon knew when someone possessed a hard exterior able to withstand any verbal or physical threats.

"I see, then. I'll be back tomorrow. Think about your priorities in the meantime." Soifon turned around and exited the door, the two guards stationed outside locking it instantly and resuming post.

Halibel sat in her chair and closed her eyes, pondering the tiny woman's last statement. Priorities? She had absolutely none.

* * *

"How did interrogating the Espada you found go?" Omaeda spoke through a mouth full of junk food. He followed behind her as she walked through the halls, and when they stepped in her office she swiftly turned around and drove a fist into his large stomach.

"Idiot, don't go around blurting our that information out loud like that," she seethed in anger, her eyebrows furrowed. "Only Captains and select people under me know about her being here. It would cause an uproar if this got around, you fat dunce."

The Vice Captain placed a hand on the tender area of his stomach and nodded, swallowing the lumpy mush in his mouth and stuffing more food inside. "Yeah, well how'd it go, huh?"

Soifon walked over to behind her desk and sat, staring down at the papers for a short moment. "I'm going to have to keep going there for a long time. It doesn't seem like she plans on giving out any information."

Omaeda could see no visible expression on his Captain's dull countenance, but he knew, after the past few years of working under her, when something stuck out in her mind. His Captain was adamant about finding out whatever she wanted to find out from this Arrancar. He didn't know why she wanted to so badly. Aizen was dead, everyone was in celebration...but her nature would have it that she wouldn't be. No. Of course the cold and heartless Taicho of Nibantai wouldn't.

* * *

**Author's Note:** You know... this pairing MAY be growing on me a LITTLE. Just the extreme crack-ness of it all...it's so _wrong_ it's _right_. And just so you know, it's really hard keeping them in character in a situation like this. Forgive if this chapter landed in the 'epic fail' zone.

Much love! ─PB


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